1. You start finding gray hair on your husband
2. It occurs to you that in 6 years, your YOUNGEST will officially be an adult
3. You finally hear a song that offends you, and you find most radio music to be really crappy
4. You trade in the bikini for a spanx one piece swim dress
5. You can no longer make it much past midnight
6. You start paying attention to arthritis commercials
7. You realize that owning a horse comes with massive vet, food, and boarding bills and you become content with owning a dog.
8. You can't understand half the text speak, and your kids text faster than you
9. You get rid of the sports car because the insurance is too high, and buy a four door gas saver instead
10. Warmth becomes more important than fashion
Brought to you today by feeling old.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Estranged family
We lost pretty much all of my husband's family over the hell house debacle. No loss for the most part. They are all a bunch of screwed up nut cases. The only thing that made me sad was not being able to see his niece. My girls lost their cousin. I tried to keep things separate. For Christmas 2010 I sent a card with a gift card in it to his brother with a vague note about trying to keep them out of the mess between his parents and us. No response. At all. Noted.
So today, I took a sub job at her school. I admit, I wasn't planning on working at all today. I still have that portfolio hanging over my head and I had good intentions on doing some serious work on it. Instead, I took the job hoping I would get a chance to talk to her. The chance paid off. I wasn't the sub for her class, but I saw her in the hall before school, and she came into the classroom before class started to talk to me. What a sweet kid. I asked her to stop by after school before she went home to get my phone number to give to her mom. Her mom and my estranged BIL have been divorced for several years. I wasn't sure how to get a hold of her. I always liked her mom, but the divorce wasn't pretty and she was avoiding the whole family. I can't blame her at all. We ran into her while trick or treating this fall, and I kicked myself for not giving her my number then.
So as soon as I got home, I got a Facebook notification. She had looked me up! We had a good conversation and we are hoping to get the three girls together next week. We get our niece back, the girls get their cousin back and all without having to deal with the crazies!! I call that a huge Win-Win.
I love Friday the 13th <3
So today, I took a sub job at her school. I admit, I wasn't planning on working at all today. I still have that portfolio hanging over my head and I had good intentions on doing some serious work on it. Instead, I took the job hoping I would get a chance to talk to her. The chance paid off. I wasn't the sub for her class, but I saw her in the hall before school, and she came into the classroom before class started to talk to me. What a sweet kid. I asked her to stop by after school before she went home to get my phone number to give to her mom. Her mom and my estranged BIL have been divorced for several years. I wasn't sure how to get a hold of her. I always liked her mom, but the divorce wasn't pretty and she was avoiding the whole family. I can't blame her at all. We ran into her while trick or treating this fall, and I kicked myself for not giving her my number then.
So as soon as I got home, I got a Facebook notification. She had looked me up! We had a good conversation and we are hoping to get the three girls together next week. We get our niece back, the girls get their cousin back and all without having to deal with the crazies!! I call that a huge Win-Win.
I love Friday the 13th <3
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Gifted kids
On my parenting board, we were making fun of posts brought over from another parenting board (I know so mean but who doesn't love a bit of snark?) The topic was gifted toddlers who were not so successful at potty training. People were making fun of the concept of gifted toddlers. It made me ruminate a little on some of the dumbs stuff I believed about my own kids. I actually felt a bit sorry for the mother of the "gifted" toddler because I too was convinced my daughter was a genius. I did not yet know the terms hyperlexia, echolalia, and perseveration. Oh the things I have learned. I also was kind of disappointed that the second kid did not seem to have the same "smarts" as her sister. She had other wonderful traits but didn't seem to learn as quickly. Yeah. I wasn't very bright.
Kid one was an amazing kid. She almost never cried as an infant. She was happy to play on her own. She had several words by 10 months, and was speaking in sentences by 13 months. She knew and recognized the entire alphabet, numbers, colors and shapes by the time she was 16 months old, and was drawing recognizable pictures by the time she was 18 months. I have a picture of her very first real drawing done on the magandoodle at that time. I can thank Blues Clues for that. By 2 she could complete 50 piece puzzles and knew the names and recognized all 50 states on a map. By 3 she was reading. By 4 she had an intricate knowledge of the solar system including all the planets and their physical properties. Sounds gifted right?
By 7, I started recognizing that something was wrong. She had serious sensory issues and couldn't seem to make friends. Her ped. brought up Asperger's syndrome. Yup. My super-smart doll baby was on the autism spectrum. Looking back, various things made sense. Her sensitivity to noise. Her food texture issues. The things that I took as signs of genius were recognized more as obsessions. Blues Clues, drawing, puzzles, maps, the solar system, then on to sonic the hedgehog, cats, and now holding around littlest pet shop and dragons. Drawing and cats never went away (and she spends hours drawing cats)
Is she smart? Absolutely. We finally had to do the IEP thing when she reached 7th grade and her world became a lot more difficult. She had IQ testing done. She is everywhere from average to above average (even touches into the gifted range for some things) but in the sense that you hear about 8th graders going to college? No. She has so many challenges to work around that make the areas she is good at that much harder for her. She is a really gifted artist, and I hope that is something that continues to be a passion for her.
The other kid on the flip-side was not the easiest infant to get along with. She was a screamer, had a milk sensitivity, and if you couldn't calm her down in the first 2 minutes, it was not pretty. She had a way of working herself up. She met milestones faster than her older sister. She sat earlier, crawled earlier and walked earlier. Her verbal skills were so far behind. I thought. I didn't realize that a kid with a 50 some word vocabulary by 14 months was still impressive because her sister was talking in sentences by then. She picked up the alphabet, counting, colors, and so on between 2 and 3, which is impressive if you understand toddler learning, but I was caught in the comparison trap and the older kid was faster. Kid two was also more stubborn about learning. First kid soaked things up and loved to do the little preschool worksheets and projects. Kid two, not so much. I didn't even know she could write until I found her sister's name (written in pen...on a pillowcase) in handwriting that didn't belong. She was a hot head, prone to tantrums, but also one of the most socially gifted kids I had ever known. Everybody likes kid two. It has always been that way. She is like her dad in that regard. I just figured I had one academically gifted kid, and one social butterfly.
Years later, kid two is the one in which we had serious discussions about a grade skip. Kid two is the one who is consistently on the all A honor roll with no real effort. She has had the highest scores in her grade on state tests. She won a spelling bee in grade 3. She works a year ahead in math, reading and writing. It will probably be more when she has more academic freedom in the higher grades. She is what the schools consider to be academically gifted.
Why does it matter? Well, everyone hopes for smart kids LOL but more importantly, I really did sell kid two short in the brains department based on my dealings with a "gifted" toddler. I would trade back the early years of kid one being so far ahead of the curve if it meant she didn't have to struggle now. I adore both my kids as they are. Please don't get me wrong. I just feel bad that kid one has to work so much harder at everything. I mean really, who doesn't want things to be easier for their kids?
So parents of toddlers and preschoolers...don't count on anything being as it seems. They have years and years to go yet. Just enjoy them as they are. I will say that I don't regret the time I spent homeschooling. I really did get to see those amazing first few years of school age progress which was really cool. I home schooled my kids until kid one was in 4th grade and kid two in 2nd grade. I don't think I will get the chance to do it again, especially since they have needs that I can't meet without being independently wealthy. It was still an awesome investment initially.
Kid one was an amazing kid. She almost never cried as an infant. She was happy to play on her own. She had several words by 10 months, and was speaking in sentences by 13 months. She knew and recognized the entire alphabet, numbers, colors and shapes by the time she was 16 months old, and was drawing recognizable pictures by the time she was 18 months. I have a picture of her very first real drawing done on the magandoodle at that time. I can thank Blues Clues for that. By 2 she could complete 50 piece puzzles and knew the names and recognized all 50 states on a map. By 3 she was reading. By 4 she had an intricate knowledge of the solar system including all the planets and their physical properties. Sounds gifted right?
By 7, I started recognizing that something was wrong. She had serious sensory issues and couldn't seem to make friends. Her ped. brought up Asperger's syndrome. Yup. My super-smart doll baby was on the autism spectrum. Looking back, various things made sense. Her sensitivity to noise. Her food texture issues. The things that I took as signs of genius were recognized more as obsessions. Blues Clues, drawing, puzzles, maps, the solar system, then on to sonic the hedgehog, cats, and now holding around littlest pet shop and dragons. Drawing and cats never went away (and she spends hours drawing cats)
Is she smart? Absolutely. We finally had to do the IEP thing when she reached 7th grade and her world became a lot more difficult. She had IQ testing done. She is everywhere from average to above average (even touches into the gifted range for some things) but in the sense that you hear about 8th graders going to college? No. She has so many challenges to work around that make the areas she is good at that much harder for her. She is a really gifted artist, and I hope that is something that continues to be a passion for her.
The other kid on the flip-side was not the easiest infant to get along with. She was a screamer, had a milk sensitivity, and if you couldn't calm her down in the first 2 minutes, it was not pretty. She had a way of working herself up. She met milestones faster than her older sister. She sat earlier, crawled earlier and walked earlier. Her verbal skills were so far behind. I thought. I didn't realize that a kid with a 50 some word vocabulary by 14 months was still impressive because her sister was talking in sentences by then. She picked up the alphabet, counting, colors, and so on between 2 and 3, which is impressive if you understand toddler learning, but I was caught in the comparison trap and the older kid was faster. Kid two was also more stubborn about learning. First kid soaked things up and loved to do the little preschool worksheets and projects. Kid two, not so much. I didn't even know she could write until I found her sister's name (written in pen...on a pillowcase) in handwriting that didn't belong. She was a hot head, prone to tantrums, but also one of the most socially gifted kids I had ever known. Everybody likes kid two. It has always been that way. She is like her dad in that regard. I just figured I had one academically gifted kid, and one social butterfly.
Years later, kid two is the one in which we had serious discussions about a grade skip. Kid two is the one who is consistently on the all A honor roll with no real effort. She has had the highest scores in her grade on state tests. She won a spelling bee in grade 3. She works a year ahead in math, reading and writing. It will probably be more when she has more academic freedom in the higher grades. She is what the schools consider to be academically gifted.
Why does it matter? Well, everyone hopes for smart kids LOL but more importantly, I really did sell kid two short in the brains department based on my dealings with a "gifted" toddler. I would trade back the early years of kid one being so far ahead of the curve if it meant she didn't have to struggle now. I adore both my kids as they are. Please don't get me wrong. I just feel bad that kid one has to work so much harder at everything. I mean really, who doesn't want things to be easier for their kids?
So parents of toddlers and preschoolers...don't count on anything being as it seems. They have years and years to go yet. Just enjoy them as they are. I will say that I don't regret the time I spent homeschooling. I really did get to see those amazing first few years of school age progress which was really cool. I home schooled my kids until kid one was in 4th grade and kid two in 2nd grade. I don't think I will get the chance to do it again, especially since they have needs that I can't meet without being independently wealthy. It was still an awesome investment initially.
Monday, January 9, 2012
I am lacking in my blogging
The biggest problem is that I never know what to write. I have written several blogs in my head when running errands, particularly when I am fired up about something. The problem is that by the time I get home, I just don't feel like it.
I am waffling on the whole house thing. For one thing, the house that I fell in love with was pulled from the market. The owner accepted another offer. My husband didn't want to put in an offer until the financing was set up. I get that. It makes the most sense, but I am seriously bummed. The #2 house was a distant number 2 and I don't really want it. We have to make a decision by the end of this month regarding our lease which expires at the end of next month. We have the option of going month to month but we are looking at a $100 increase in rent going that way. Maybe what we need to do is suck it up another year, finish paying off the truck and a couple lingering medical bills, and get a year's worth of income verification going and start looking sooner. I don't know. I really hate this place but there are not a lot of options for renting when you have a big dog.
Outside of that, it is nice being back into the regular routine where the kids go to school. I have turned down a couple sub jobs and taken a couple. I am trying to balance out time for my school (that I never seem to get done) and bringing in some cash. I actually just accepted a job during this post for Weds. I tell you what, I have not been lacking in sub jobs at all. There has been a job offer every single day. Too bad the pay is crappy or I would be content subbing forever! As it is, I am hoping something opens up as far as a permanent teaching position.
I am waffling on the whole house thing. For one thing, the house that I fell in love with was pulled from the market. The owner accepted another offer. My husband didn't want to put in an offer until the financing was set up. I get that. It makes the most sense, but I am seriously bummed. The #2 house was a distant number 2 and I don't really want it. We have to make a decision by the end of this month regarding our lease which expires at the end of next month. We have the option of going month to month but we are looking at a $100 increase in rent going that way. Maybe what we need to do is suck it up another year, finish paying off the truck and a couple lingering medical bills, and get a year's worth of income verification going and start looking sooner. I don't know. I really hate this place but there are not a lot of options for renting when you have a big dog.
Outside of that, it is nice being back into the regular routine where the kids go to school. I have turned down a couple sub jobs and taken a couple. I am trying to balance out time for my school (that I never seem to get done) and bringing in some cash. I actually just accepted a job during this post for Weds. I tell you what, I have not been lacking in sub jobs at all. There has been a job offer every single day. Too bad the pay is crappy or I would be content subbing forever! As it is, I am hoping something opens up as far as a permanent teaching position.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
The teenage lazy
My kids don't like to clean. Big surprise right? However, when 4 people, a cat and a dog share a space less than 1000 sq ft, it needs to be done often. What takes one person an hour takes three people 20 minutes. In theory.
I am a list maker. It partially fills my need to procrastinate, but it partially keeps me organized. Today I had the girls help me make the to do list thinking that maybe it would draw them in. It partially worked. What I mean is that because my 11 year old was giving me such a hard time about cleaning, the 13 year old totally took advantage of the opportunity to suck up. Sometimes having two kids is such a joy! So the 13 year old checked the various rooms and we came up with a list of things to do. Since she was helpful, she got to pick first which immediately sent up a stream of "It's not fair! She always gets to pick first!" which is far from truth, but don't tell that to the self martyred preteen.
The funniest part was that the one who complained the most was finished first. The apartment is back in order and it really did take no time at all. Don't tell the 11 year old that. She is still absolutely positive that 20 minutes of cleaning ruined her entire day. I guess she will be more than happy to go back to school next week.
I am a list maker. It partially fills my need to procrastinate, but it partially keeps me organized. Today I had the girls help me make the to do list thinking that maybe it would draw them in. It partially worked. What I mean is that because my 11 year old was giving me such a hard time about cleaning, the 13 year old totally took advantage of the opportunity to suck up. Sometimes having two kids is such a joy! So the 13 year old checked the various rooms and we came up with a list of things to do. Since she was helpful, she got to pick first which immediately sent up a stream of "It's not fair! She always gets to pick first!" which is far from truth, but don't tell that to the self martyred preteen.
The funniest part was that the one who complained the most was finished first. The apartment is back in order and it really did take no time at all. Don't tell the 11 year old that. She is still absolutely positive that 20 minutes of cleaning ruined her entire day. I guess she will be more than happy to go back to school next week.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
I have been married for 14 years
Technically, that happened yesterday, but I go in spurts with my blogging. My goal this year is to manage a post at least 3 days a week. Anyway....
I have been with my husband longer than I have been without him. We started dating in 1995. When we met I was a 15 year old sophomore in high school. Oh, and I was dating his best friend. Things didn't work out between the friend and I (obviously) but I spent hours on the phone talking to Tom. On Halloween of 1995, he asked me to be his girlfriend. That was 16 years ago this last halloween.
We dated through drama with his family. We dated through him leaving for boot camp (USMC). We broke up twice over stupid shit while he was in NC but we always came back together. We were engaged by that point. He had asked me to marry him before he left, in August of 1996. I was not yet 16. The plan was we would get married in October of 1998 after I turned 18. Then it was moved back to June of 1998 when I graduated high school.
In November of 1997, I managed to talk my parents into signing consent for us to get married in December of 1997. I was still planning on staying at "home" until graduation, but frankly, married marines make more money, and we were hoping to save up some money for a place to live. We had been dating 2 years at that point and my parents loved him, so they said yes.
So December 27, 1997 I married my best friend. We got married in this teeny tiny chapel with just my parents, my siblings and my grandmother present. I wore my mother's wedding dress, which was too big and pinned down the side, and carried silk flowers that we picked up and threw together. Tom wore his uniform right down to his BCGs (or birth control glasses for those unfamiliar). He didn't have his blues yet. Little Bell Chapel provided the music, the decorations, and of course the ceremony. It was beautiful and lovely.
I have been with my husband longer than I have been without him. We started dating in 1995. When we met I was a 15 year old sophomore in high school. Oh, and I was dating his best friend. Things didn't work out between the friend and I (obviously) but I spent hours on the phone talking to Tom. On Halloween of 1995, he asked me to be his girlfriend. That was 16 years ago this last halloween.
We dated through drama with his family. We dated through him leaving for boot camp (USMC). We broke up twice over stupid shit while he was in NC but we always came back together. We were engaged by that point. He had asked me to marry him before he left, in August of 1996. I was not yet 16. The plan was we would get married in October of 1998 after I turned 18. Then it was moved back to June of 1998 when I graduated high school.
In November of 1997, I managed to talk my parents into signing consent for us to get married in December of 1997. I was still planning on staying at "home" until graduation, but frankly, married marines make more money, and we were hoping to save up some money for a place to live. We had been dating 2 years at that point and my parents loved him, so they said yes.
So December 27, 1997 I married my best friend. We got married in this teeny tiny chapel with just my parents, my siblings and my grandmother present. I wore my mother's wedding dress, which was too big and pinned down the side, and carried silk flowers that we picked up and threw together. Tom wore his uniform right down to his BCGs (or birth control glasses for those unfamiliar). He didn't have his blues yet. Little Bell Chapel provided the music, the decorations, and of course the ceremony. It was beautiful and lovely.
Despite what people most often ask when they find out that I got married at 17, no I was not pregnant. My oldest daughter was legitimately a honeymoon baby. I don't really care so much if people get knocked up before marriage, but I hate the idea that people assume my wedding was a shotgun wedding. Do the math. We married in late December. The kid was born at the end of September. I am guessing New Years conception LOL. I didn't even get a positive pg test until Feb.
So happy anniversary to my husband and my baby-daddy <3 I still love him so completely. We spent our 14th anniversary eating chili and watching the Red Wings come from behind and kick St. Louis's ass on TV. We are both huge hockey fans. That, my friends, is one of many things I like about him.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
I have a sickness
I don't know if anyone else shares this, but it's a shopping addiction without spending any money. No, I am not talking about a five finger discount. I go to various websites and fill my cart with various items that I will probably never actually buy.
It goes farther than that. This post tonight is brought to you by a total kitchen redesign of a house that not only do I not own, but one I have not actually seen in person. It's ridiculous! All new appliances, counters, cabinets, the works. This is not the only time I do this.
Every time my period is late (which since I hit my 30s is nearly every month), I start putting together entire nurseries, carseats, clothes and the whole nine yards. Then I close the browser and lament over the hour (or hours *paranoia*) that I wasted on such a silly thing. This baby factory has been shut down for nearly 12 years now. The chance of me having another baby NOW? Not likely.
So now you know my dirty little secret. My name is Jennifer and I am a shopaholic. Luckily for my husband, I am enough in my senses that I don't actually spend any money. For his sake, I hope dementia skips me in my old age.
It goes farther than that. This post tonight is brought to you by a total kitchen redesign of a house that not only do I not own, but one I have not actually seen in person. It's ridiculous! All new appliances, counters, cabinets, the works. This is not the only time I do this.
Every time my period is late (which since I hit my 30s is nearly every month), I start putting together entire nurseries, carseats, clothes and the whole nine yards. Then I close the browser and lament over the hour (or hours *paranoia*) that I wasted on such a silly thing. This baby factory has been shut down for nearly 12 years now. The chance of me having another baby NOW? Not likely.
So now you know my dirty little secret. My name is Jennifer and I am a shopaholic. Luckily for my husband, I am enough in my senses that I don't actually spend any money. For his sake, I hope dementia skips me in my old age.
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